Where were you Saturday, August 16, 2008?

In the early afternoon I was at the memorial service for our classmate Kathy Malone (East High School, Memphis, 1968).

I write this not to be critical of those who did not attend, nor to even say you should have. Many of you live out of town and I understand those who live nearby have busy lives, that many of us didn't know some of our classmates well, and that some of us really are uncomfortable attending funerals and memorial services.

I write it to tell you what you missed and encourage you to consider the opportunities we have now to get to know our living high school classmates and, should a classmate pass on, to learn more about him or her at her/his funeral or memorial service.

As I recall, I didn't know Kathie Malone in high school. I don' t think we ever had any classes together. I knew her face and her name but that's all. At best, I may have occasionally said hi to her as we passed in the hall.

After graduation, I didn't see Kathy Malone, at least to recognize her, until 2006 at the visitation upon her mother's death. Kathie and I spoke a bit then, I doubt she remembered me from East. She asked for my card and I gave her a card with  The East High Alumni Page contact information on it, but it didn't have my name. I wish I had given her my business card since that might have helped her remember my name long enough to perhaps look me up in the yearbook and, maybe connecting my face with the name, she would have contacted me. I have wished many times since then that she would have sent a message to The East High Alumni Page so we could be in contact.

I've been to many funerals for the parents of classmates, and a few of classmates. For those I didn't know well, I have wished I had known them better. This time is no different. This time I was struck by what an exceptional human being  Kathie clearly was.

Kathie was a security officer for the VA Hospital when in 1980 a man came into the emergency room demanding to see a doctor. The ER was very busy so no doctor was immediately available. The man was armed and as unarmed Officer Malone turned a corner, she came face to face with a shotgun. Read the reports.  Kathie was able to talk the man into putting the gun down, ending the threat to herself and others in the hospital. She was awarded a commendation by the Veterans Administration for her achievement. (See commendation below.)

Kathie was more than her job. She played the piano by ear, including classical pieces and many, many people attested to how beautifully she played. She was most happy playing the organ for churches and church programs. She helped establish a children's choir. Those who worked with her in the music realm say she put her full heart into her music. She was reliable, she gave herself fully into whatever she did. She won many friends and admirers for her character.

She loved sports and could discuss players and statistics, apparently with the best of them. She loved animals, too, and at one time was a cruelty investigator for the Memphis Humane Society.

Sometime within a couple of years prior to her death, she applied to New Life Baptist Church to be its new organist. The pastor said the resumé she presented was very sparse compared to what he later learned about her abilities and performances, she was just that modest. Perhaps what the pastor remembered most, however, was Kathie's question for him when he expressed an interest in hiring her. She asked if the church welcomed everyone. The Pastor knew then he had met a special person, one who wanted to be associated only with a church that, as Christ, would welcome all who came.

Kathie's sister Bonnie related several things about her youngest sibling. How, as a toddler, Kathie stood on her tip toes to reach the piano keyboard. Who, to the amazement of all adults, Kathie played her own composition at a recital when she was only 3 years old.

How Kathie never walked as a young child, but always bounced or ran.

Bonnie remembered how her sister Kathie wore her toy guns around as a little girl, playing in the yard, and with what we today might call action figures. She remembered Kathie later in life, rolling around in the grass playing with her nephews and nieces just as if she were their age.

Kathie also had a good sense of humor. I don't know if this fits in the humor or wisdom category, but her brother-in-law told of  something Kathie told him that he had never heard from anywhere else. I presume it was after an extended family dinner when Kathie said, "you know, if you stack the dishes, you have to wash both sides."  

Kathie also had her own business, consulting in the information technology field.

Our classmate Kathie Malone was clearly a very special person. I'm sorry I didn't get to know her better at East and know it was my loss not to have known her as an adult. I am very glad I attended her memorial service to show her family that her classmates cared, even if many of us hadn't seen her for nearly 40 years after graduation. It would have been richly rewarding to have known her. Even though it was too late to befriend Kathie, it was good to hear of the life of our classmate, to express our affection for her, and to share with the family their time of loss.